It is three years today since my father passed away. It seems a strange thing to be baking on such a day but it would also strange not to do anything at all. I was up early this morning making the food that we were going to eat after our visit to the cemetery. The cheesecake was first in line. It has no sentimental significance, I’ve just never made one before. I baked an almond and honey cake and then made a potato, chicken, feta cheese, coriander and walnut salad.

And so we said our words. I found it quite hard this year. It is just enough time for the shock to have worn off and the reality of it all to be all too present. This is it, he is never coming back. It’s somehow not until one is standing at the grave does this finality hit home. The rest of the time it is as if he is just somewhere else. Just somewhere else and will be back sometime, some undefined time. And so we wait.

In the meantime life goes on in some form.

Ingredients

• 100 g digestive biscuits, or cookies, crushed into fine crumbs

• 50 g demerara sugar

• 50 g butter, melted

• 500 g full-fat cream cheese

• 100 g icing sugar

• 1 vanilla pod, sliced lengthways, or 1 tsp vanilla extract

• 200 ml double cream, lightly whipped

Method

1. In a mixing bowl, mix together the biscuit crumbs and Demerara sugar. Add in the melted butter and mix well.

2. Spoon the biscuit mixture into a 20cm spring-form cake tin lined with silicon paper or baking parchment. Use a metal spoon to press the biscuit crumbs down firmly and evenly. Chill in the refrigerator until set.

3. In a large mixing bowl, using a whisk or a wooden spoon, beat together the cream cheese, icing sugar and vanilla pod seeds or vanilla extract until well mixed.

4. Fold in the double cream, mixing well.

5. Spoon the cream mixture over the chilled biscuit base, making sure that there are no air bubbles. Smooth the top of the cheesecake with a palette knife or metal spoon.

6. Chill the cheesecake in the refrigerator for 1 hour until set.

7. To serve, remove from the cake tin and cut into slices.