I am exhausted! I have driven for hours today. I drove from London to Luton, Luton to Norfolk and Norfolk to London. 139 miles over 3 hours and 44 minutes. It rained too, excessively and I was sliding along the M11 at some points. I ate my dinner (pasta and pesto curtesy of M&S) in my car in the rain.

When I returned home I collapsed in my bed and reflected on whether what I had actually achieved today, was worth all that driving time.

What did I actually do? I went to our local autism network meeting. I completed some clinic reports. I attended a reflective study group for my leadership course. I reflected on the fact that I have had to change my approach to work in order for it to be sustainable and enjoyable. I need to involve people, instigate things rather than wait to be asked. I need to actively look for opportunities for innovation. I need to have boundaries and set priorities. I should doubt myself less , use my gifts, learn from others. I need to turn up and listen with fascination and attention. I acknowledged the fact that work has been and still is challenging but such is life in the NHS and it is a marathon not a race.

My next trip to Norfolk is not until September now. I will organise myself better to make sure it is just a London to Norfolk commute. In the mean time I need to focus on the slow transformation that is me at work.