Tuesday, yesterday, started very badly. I can only say that it feels like it was my fault. I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest about how I was feeling. It turns out that went down like a tonne of bricks 🧱. I wonder if there is any coming back from this. Time will tell. Haha, I know I am being cryptic. Only I really know what I am talking about but it is somehow soothing to write it down in some form. What did end well, was the evening meal. My appetite is still quite reduced so I am not eating much in the day time (and night). Today I wanted to use up bits and pieces of food in the house and decided, rather randomly that I wanted to make a chicken, chorizo and chickpea stew. So I did.

I made it up as I went along.

Chop up an onion 🧅, crush two gloves of garlic 🧄 and remove the stalks from and quarter a handful of mushrooms. Chop up a quarter of a chorizo ring, chop up two chicken thighs. First saute the onion and garlic in a teaspoon of coconut oil and a pinch of salt 🧂. Then mix in the mushrooms with two bay leaves 🍃 and a sprinkle of ground mixed spice (cinnamon, coriander seeds, dill seeds, ginger, cloves and nutmeg). After that stir in the chopped chorizo, chicken and chicken stock. Let it bubble and turn down to a simmer. Shortly after this, add a can of chorizo and chopped tomatoes. Continue to simmer for about 20 minutes or so, the chicken should be cooked, soft and white.

I served with a salad made of lettuce 🥬, cucumber 🥒 and avocado 🥑 with a simple lemon 🍋 juice and olive oil ‘dressing’ and cous cous.

The whole process, even though it was just making dinner, was quite soothing. I was also thinking about the mornings events and what was going to change. I do know what needs to happen and I know that it needs to come from me, question remains – will I have the courage?