So it appears that I really do need my weekend lie-ins. My enthusiasm for Saturday and Sunday morning yoga classes slowly withered during the week as I became increasingly exhausted and my left shoulder started to protest. I think, in honesty it was the extra hours of work that I did on Monday evening, that finished me off. I think sitting still and working from 9 in the morning until almost midnight was extremely bad for my shoulder and my soul! I need movement and rest. I needs balance. In the middle of the night / early Wednesday morning I developed a spasm in my left arm, which woke me up and left me in extreme pain. Then I found I could not move or use my arm and I was in the same position that I was about a month ago when the shoulder really started getting worse. I thought that I would not be able to make to work on the Thursday because driving does not help. But continuing with my physiotherapy exercises and taking a walk afterwork on Wednesday evening, my left arm seems to get back to a place where I could move it without wanting to vomit with the pain.

However, I did not want lose what I had gained from those early morning yoga exercises. So I found an app that has some simple and therefore doable stretches to start my day with.

On Saturday morning, I just stayed in bed and slept. I was so tired. I did not emerge from my bedroom until after two. I did my stretches and then I made myself a banana and peanut butter smoothie and a pile (well three) of Canadian butter milk pancakes. It was a nice brunch, eaten in the silence of the house.

After my brunch, I got ready to go out and felt human for the first time all week.

I had bought a ticket for the Prince Harry and Dr Gabor Mate interview, so I went off to my friend’s house so that we could watch it together.

Fascinating conversation…

I think, these days, I have a lot of time to listen to Prince Harry, talking about his experiences, they are at the same time, unique and universal. I’ve also been investing a great deal of time this week listening to Dr Gabor Maté on various podcasts as I have found what he has to say fascinating.

Dr Gabor Maté talking with Fearne Cotton
Dr Gabor Maté talking with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

I have even bought the new book ‘The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture’ in audio format. It will be my accompaniment on my three journies into work into the coming week.

Sunday started much the same. A lie-in, stretches, smoothie and then a brunch of pancakes, this time with a cinnamon apple and maple syrup topping.

And so now, I’m on the sofa, snuggled under my yellow blanket, something something on TV. Exhausted, even though I’ve done nothing all day. It’s more a mental than physical exhaustion. Maybe I just need sleep, maybe I just need to rest more.


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