The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

And so I thought about what needs to change before I burnout…

Last Wednesday I drove all the way to Flitwick for a whole service meeting. It was in fact exhausting and finished me off for the rest of the week. However, however, there was a window of time where I did feel energised and hopeful that I could make positive changes. Why did I think that?

I acknowledged the fact that I had spent three hours away from SystmOne, tasks, emails and report writing and felt much better for. In that three hours the world continued to spin on its axis. When I got back to the office, the world was still there, and I just carried on but with the satisfaction and knowledge that I’d learnt something new in that morning, connected with work colleagues and enjoyed stepping away from the rat race that is work for a few hours. I was able to have some headspace to allow me to think. Think about how I wanted to work in a sustainable way, think about what I wanted to do to be my best in this difficult job.

I decided that I really would need to put myself first during the times I am allocated for personal development. I have a weekly session but the majority of the time it is eaten up with completing admin from the previous days clinic and preparing the next days clinic. I do this in an attempt to keep up with my paperwork and not get swamped. It doesn’t really work, I rarely ever ‘catch-up’. Catch-up only occurs if I’ve been away from work for a significant amount of time, i.e on annual leave and more often than not I’ve often used part of the time to get some overdue reports signed off.

But, but, I don’t want to do that anymore. Working has become a drain and something I’m enjoying less and less with the ever increasing pressures on us. I do need to work, I do like work but I do need it not to make me unhappy. I think there is some control over that I can exert. I’ll give myself two months to see if I can make and sustain these changes.