More reflexion

More reflexion

It’s certainly not breaking news 📰 by any standards, but I ate breakfast today! I’ve not felt like eating in the morning at all this past week. So today was a first. However that’s where the interest and excitement ends. The previous breakfasts were lovely pots of overnight oats and this morning – toast. Yes, plain old toast. I had another appointment at the GP surgery and afterward I popped into the Tesco express close by to buy a fresh loaf of bread 🍞. It must have not long been out of the oven because it was still warm, pleasantly soft and springy. Surely this must be one of life’s pleasures.

I only managed one slice with a sip of orange juice. Afterwards I rested for a bit on the sofa with a book. It was a peaceful few hours. Ignacio was still asleep and the sun was coming into the living room in the most life-affirming manner. I did take me back to years gone by when getting up early and reading books in the morning sunshine was the norm. I guess there is no reason why that cannot be my ‘new normal’.

The hospital appointment was interesting – all I can say is that I await further events. So far nothing to indicate that there is anything sinister going on. The problem with being a medic is that you know too much and when it comes to your health you worry that you are the person with the rare presentation of that horrible disease/condition. To be fair, I still don’t know that yet, and the thought still keeps me awake at night, but I guess the indicators so far make that seem less likely.

I guess my body will let me know what the real plan is. In the mean time maybe I need to have a better plan for myself. Being proactive instead of reactive. In honesty I thought I was doing better job in taking care of myself. However it is clear that perhaps it is still not good enough. Now, I am not sure where to start because none of this new territory for me. I’ll just have to take it one day at a time and start with listening to my body when it is saying it has had enough. Maybe start taking myself seriously instead of dismissing my own feelings and sensations as not important or worthy of concern. I only have one life and theoretically I’m probably half-way through it, if I am lucky.

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